It's been a loooong time...

Oh, how long it has been since I have been here and typing down my thoughts. I had a little convo earlier today with a friend from Iowa. She was praising me for my big move and having it all together and oh, how the purging was probably an awesome thing. And how she needed to do something, but it was all just too overwhelming. And she was just so proud of me....

I told her not to be.

I am a big baby!

I do not have things under control.

S-baby had a nightmare last night that the crocodiles were getting her. Again. She has had this dream before. Go ahead and analyze it for me if you can.

I like the new neighbors. I like the school. I like the town. But, I like Iowa better! That's all there is to it. A year from now, I may feel differently, but now that is how I feel today.

The kids are really not sleeping well. One or all of them awake at least once a night and one or two of them end up in our bed. I end up on the couch in our room or in one of there three beds ~ nearly every night lately, it seems. This is not good for me. I am already half psychotic...I don't need this sleep deprivation on top of that.

S-baby told me in her sleepy state last night, as we moved from the couch to J-man's bed at around 4 AM, that she was "scared of this house" and "can we just go back to our other house?". I bit my lip. Poor babies.

I told my husband this morning and said, "We really can't relate to what they are feeling as we both were in the same houses our whole childhood." My parents still have the same home. His mom just sold hers a few years ago...and it wasn't easy. So, there are some adjustments to be made for our little ones. Many people do it. We will get through it.

I have no goal on this post today. Just to post and to ramble.

But to feel some sense of accomplishment that...

"I am back!"

This was an email I just received from a friend and I BELIEVE it is worth sharing.

Birth Certificate shows that we were born,
A Death Certificate shows that we died,
Pictures show that we lived!

I Believe...
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love..

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.

Mr. MCCain, you do have my RESPECT!

Just a little food for thought when you are considering who to vote for this coming November. The man is brave and he practices what he preaches!


http://www.snopes.com/politics/mccain/mccainsons.asp

Threes....

I am stealing this from PYi as I can not come up with anything original right now....

• 3 names you go by: Margaret, Mom, Mommy
• 3 physical things you like about yourself: My children (came from my body), My toenails, my ears
• 3 physical things you don't like about yourself: My ginormous legs, my muffin top, my cankles
• 3 things that scare you: Freaky Clowns, Things that go bump in the night, Something bad happening to my children/friends
• 3 everyday essentials: Diet Pepsi, Doritos, Chocolate
• 3 things you're wearing now: Gap Black T-shirt, Old Jeans, Old tennis shoes
• 3 favorite musical artists or groups: Kenny Chesney, Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts
• 3 favorite songs: Everything, Rascal Flatts; Live Like You Were Dying, Timmy; and American Girl by Carrie Underwood
• 2 truths and a lie: I think my kids are totally hilarious, I think I need to lose 10 pounds and get my butt into shape NOW and I look awesome!
• 3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you: Smell, Smile, Face
• 3 of your favorite hobbies: playing with my kids, playing with my friends, playing with my husband
• 3 things you want to do really badly right now: I would love to (in this order): lose 10 pounds magically, buy a totally cute outfit that I KNOW looks hot on me, and go out on the town!
• 3 things you want to do before you die: Watch my kids grow up, see them get married and see them with their children.
• 3 ways you are stereotypically a girl/boy: Love to shop, get my toenails done and eat chocolate
• 3 celebrity crushes: Duane Johnson is my newest, Tim McGraw and ... I can't think of anyone else right now.....

My Opinion...

http://www.abortionfacts.com/online_books/love_them_both/why_cant_we_love_them_both_29.asp

Pro-life people are diverse in economic status, race, religion, and education. Yet, they are unified by the concept that all humans, especially the innocent unborn, have an inherent right to life.
Here are things I believe as a Pro-Life person:
I believe that the unborn child is human. Click
I believe life begins at conception. Click
I believe that abortion is not safe. Click
I believe that abortion is a war on the unborn. Click
I believe that the Roe v. Wade decision, legalizing abortion on demand in America, was one of the most important and devastating Supreme Court decisions. Click
I believe that a constitutional amendment should be passed that gives equal protection to all living humans, including the unborn. Click
I believe that the violence inside and outside abortion clinics is morally wrong. Click
I believe that rape and incest are horrible crimes and should be punished, but I don't believe that a child conceived from either should be killed. Click
I do not believe that the government should fund abortions. Click
I do not believe that the government should fund Planned Parenthood - the largest national supplier of abortions. Click
Being a religious person, I believe that the Bible backs up my views on abortion. Click

That is all I wanted to say....

Meaning of Memorial Day

Let us not forget who it is that makes it possible for us to sleep at night and enjoy a friendly, neighborhood barbeque on Memorial Day.... Take a few moments this weekend to remember. Here is a good place to start.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbRGksthTHQ&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1_UgbcuA1uo
Arlington
Performed by Trace Adkins

I never thought that this is where I'd settle down,
I thought I'd die an old man back in my hometown,
They gave me this plot of land, me and some other men, for a job well done,
There's a big white house sits on a hill just up the road,
The man inside he cried the day they brought me home,
They folded up a flag and told my mom and dad, we're proud of your son

[Chorus:]
And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones, I made it to Arlington

I remember daddy brought me here when I was eight,
We searched all day to find out where my granddad lay,
And when we finally found that cross,
He said, "son this is what it cost to keep us free"
Now here I am,A thousand stones away from him,
He recognized me on the first day I came in,
And it gave me a chill when he clicked his heels, and saluted me.

[Chorus:]
And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones, I made it to Arlington

And everytime I hear twenty-one guns,
I know they brought another hero home to us
We're thankful for those thankful for the things we've done,
We can rest in peace, 'cause we are the chosen ones,
We made it to arlington, yea dust to dust,
Don't cry for us, we made it to Arlington

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-o9aCoeGoI&feature=related
If You're Reading This
Performed by Tim McGraw

Which One Are You ~ Girl That Weighs the Same as ME?

Oh, I wish I had seen you on that scale to see what my weight looks like on someone else...maybe it would help to motivate me to move that number down!!!

Yes, today, it happened. The scale at the gym was set to my exact weight...which means that someone had just weighed themselves and stepped off right before I got to the dressing room. Did I pass her? Did I look at her and think she was fat? Did I look at her and think...she looks pretty good? Was she still in the gym? Was she still working out...hmmmm, which one is she. I really want to know. Do you think people would mind if I asked, "Hey, are you the one that weighed "such and such"? Would it be an insult to some...would it be a compliment to others? I looked around...I wondered. I never got my answer.

But, I must say, it was so nice to see!!! Someone else here weighs the same as me!!! Well, not to brag, but I did have to bump it down about 1/4 pound to really get it to balance correctly....

Anyway, let me tell you why I was so relieved. Because for the past several weeks, as I walk into the locker room, I always am sure to make note of the scale to see what weight is left on it, if any! And, I am sad to say that it is often left on a weight...a weight that I can never imagine obtaining for myself. The first time. Some emaciated, hungry woman had left it on 112!? "Who in the HELL in here weighs 112!? Show yourself beyotch!" I wanted to shout.

Another time it was on 126! Oh, how I would love to be 126 pounds again...when was that weight on my body last? I think I may have obtained that number my Freshman year in college. (Yeah, I actually lost weight that year.) Then I porked out my sophomore year while I worked food service. I think I may have gotten back to that weight again some time in my senior year, but never again. And, I venture to guess...NEVER AGAIN!!!

Another time the scale read 116 and I went ballistic (in my head) again! I just can not imagine being that skinny! As I forced myself to take step after step on the elliptical and tried so hard not to think about how, doing this, I will be able to eat some Flamin' Hots after without as much guilt...I looked around at the fit little figures that wandered the gym amongst me and, I thought, "her and, yeah, her...oh, yeah ~ that one looks hungry, too."

There they are...those gals under 130 pounds! They must live off of oatmeal, celery and whey protein shakes... They are NOT HAPPY!

But, damn! Am I? Well, yes, I am. I AM HAPPY DAMMIT!!! I just wish I was skinnier!!! Why is that such an obsession? I don't know...when I get to the bottom of this bag of chips...maybe I will find my answer.

No One Home...yet!

Well, I can not complain too much as my house is spotless, the children are gone, my husband is gone. I have the whole house to myself with not a ton to do. It is a wonderful feeling. I've got a couple of new magazines to read and my trusted DP at my side! Got a couple loads of laundry in, but that is about it. It is peaceful. There is no stress...

Well, if you don't count the fact that not a single person has come to our open house!!!! I guess there is some stress there!

Guess we will be listing it and dumping several grand into the hands of our neighbor the realtor. UGH! I don't know why, but I just hate the thought of paying someone so much for selling my house when I am the one that has to do all the work to get the thing sold!!!

Well, only 28 minutes left of peace and quiet...then I will go pick up the kids and the house will be destroyed by 5:00 PM!

It was good while it lasted, I guess.

God Bless Mike Christian!

John McCain's remarks about the Pledge of Allegiance:
In light of the recent appeals court ruling in California, with respect to the Pledge of Allegiance, the following recollection from Senator John McCain is very appropriate:

'The Pledge of Allegiance' - by Senator John McCain '
As you may know, I spent five and one half years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. In the early years of our imprisonment, the NVA kept us in solitary confinement or two or three to a cell.
In 1971 the NVA moved us from these conditions of isolation into large rooms with as many as 30 to 40 men to a room. This was, as you can imagine, a wonderful change and was a direct result of the efforts of millions of Americans on behalf of a few hundred POWs 10,000 miles from home.
One of the men who moved into my room was a young man named Mike Christian. Mike came from a small town near Selma , Alabama . He didn't wear a pair of shoes until he was 13 years old. At 17, he enlisted in the US Navy. He later earned a commission by going to Officer Training School Then he became a Naval Flight Officer and was shot down and captured in 1967. Mike had a keen and deep appreciation of the opportunities this country and our military provide for people who want to work and want to succeed.
As part of the change in treatment, the Vietnamese allowed some prisoners to receive packages from home. In some of these packages were handkerchiefs, scarves and other items of clothing. Mike got himself a bamboo needle. Over a period of a couple of months, he created an American flag and sewed on the inside of his shirt.
Every afternoon, before we had a bowl of soup, we would hang Mike's shirt on the wall of the cell and say the Pledge of Allegiance. I know the Pledge of Allegiance may not seem the most important part of our day now, but I can assure you that in that stark cell it was indeed the most important and meaningful event.
One day the Vietnamese searched our cell, as they did periodically, and discovered Mike's shirt with the flag sewn inside, and removed it...
That evening they returned, opened the door of the cell, and for the benefit of all of us, beat Mike Christian severely for the next couple of hours. Then, they opened the door of the cell and threw him in.. We cleaned him up as well as we could.
The cell in which we lived had a concrete slab in the middle on which we slept Four naked light bulbs hung in each corner of the room.
As I said, we tried to clean up Mike as well as we could. After the excitement died down, I looked in the corner of the room, and sitting there beneath that dim light bulb with a piece of red cloth, another shirt and his bamboo needle, was my friend, Mike Christian. He was sitting there with his eyes almost shut from the beating he had received, making another American flag. He was not making the flag because it made Mike Christian feel better. He was making that flag because he knew how important it was to us to be able to Pledge our allegiance to our flag and country. So the next time you say the Pledge of Allegiance, you must never forget the sacrifice and courage that thousands of Americans have made to build our nation and promote freedom around the world.

You must remember our duty, our honor, and our country.'

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisable, with liberty and justice for all.

Arms the Size of my Three Year Old...

Okay, so last Thursday, the kids and I stopped at Van Dee's ~ the local ice cream shop ~ for a little afternoon delight! It was a warm day and, thankfully, I wore jeans, but I also wore a sleeveless shirt - bad idea. We are sitting at a table, my three kids and I, and a "newspaper man" came up to us and asked if he could get pictures of us for the Johnston Register. I agreed, but specifically asked that he "not get momma in the pictures".

First thing he did was go out to the street to get a far shot of the Ice Cream shop and a photo of us at the table. I was completely paranoid that my "whale tail" would be hanging out for the world to see, but that he would not notice it while editing the photos and then it would show up on the cover of the Register and I would be the "butt" of jokes in the Johnston/Dallas Center- Grimes and surrounding areas for years to come. Thankfully, that did not happen...my shirt was long enough to cover my dirty little secret! (What in the hell is she wearing a thong for anyway? That girls ass is the size of Texas ~ to borrow a phrase from my friend PYi ~ clASSy, huh.)

Anyway, I got a couple of emails yesterday requesting "autographs" for the photos of the family on the cover of the Johnston Register. One from a neighbor guy whose wife would likely divorce him if she knew he even had my email address much less sent me a message (not because she is at all threatened by me, but just insecure of all women) and another from a sarcastic Urbandalite and Hawkeye fan (shout out to Traci ~ my newest reader) who had not even seen the photos yet, but got the "heads up" from her sister in the "surrounding area" of Grimes. I told them both that I would be setting up a table today in our driveway to sign copies. Of course, it would be $1 a piece to go towards the purchase of a personal trainer to get these arms in shape!

Anyway, I had not yet seen the photos, so I made a stop at Casey's and purchased a paper and there, on the cover, in living color, was my adorable kiddies and their "grandma" with her left "arm the size of the 3 year old". Oh, of course the pictures were so cute of the kids, but they really could have done without the close up of me with ice cream melting all over my hands 'cuz there was no way in Hell that I was going to have a picture of me in the paper licking away at an ice cream cone...that would definitely not be a pretty picture ~ UGH! And the wrinkles, oh the wrinkles around the eyes!!! Also, I was sporting the 'burns that bug my husband so much, but it was windy and I had to keep the hair out of my face and had to tuck a bit behind the ear...just didn't get it all back there, hence, the Elvis-like sideburns!

Oh, how I love to pick myself apart. All in all, it was a fun little thing. The kids were so happy to see themselves in the paper and we all had a big laugh over the action shot of Sammy coughing his head off - too cute! Jack and Sam both enjoyed being noticed around town by friends and passersby that had seen us in the paper!

Once again, my husband is going to feel like the "spirit of himself watching on as his family goes on without him." But, we missed him and wished he was there!

Go get yourself some ice cream today. It is a beautiful day for it! I suggest a sugar cone with chocolate ice cream and chocolate dip ~ my favorite!

Speaking of "dip", I gotta go do 20 or so on the steps to get these triceps in order for my next Johnston Register cover!

Hazel Was Here!

Well, I was listening to Paul Harvey on the radio yesterday and he announced that the fellow that created the comic strip that was later turned into a hit TV show, HAZEL, had died.

My "Hazel" came today and left my house so clean and shiny!

I am not going to let my family be in my house for the entire weekend! That is my Mother's Day gift to me! Knowing that, where ever I am, my house is home and clean!!!

I am so grateful.

Thank you, Hazel!!!

Do the Work!

I got this forwarded to me today from my brother, it seemed timely as I was feeling a bit sorry for myself.
I am a fool.
I have so much to be grateful for and am going to celebrate that and not wallow in the small stuff! Things could always be worse, and, for many, they are!
So down with the pity party....

God Said NO!

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...
Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

I don't know why, but I want to cry...

• It is just one of those days.


• I pulled a late night due to my stupid procrastination and still didn't complete the task at hand ~ the one that awaits me even as I type this. I need to get it done...get that monkey off my back.


• I have a rager of a headache!


• My Robot Boy has been home with me the last two days sick. Went to the doctor and they were no help. He says he feels good, though, so I will roll with that.


• My husband is away in KC.


• The house has not even been looked at ~ not once. But, it is probably bad Karma...after this monkey of a project is off my back, I will be open to showing and selling and it WILL HAPPEN! I do believe that!


• I just dropped off the neighbor boy and his mom tells me that they (her and her husband) are separated. Though she is hoping to reconcile, he has been unfaithful and she just doesn't know what to do.... Never saw that one coming, again!


• That makes me very sad ~ 3 little kids under the age of 10 ~ what will become of their little hearts. So sad, so very, very sad!


• Well, I guess I have my answer as tears streak down my face!

Domo Arigato Mr. Jaworski

Domo arigato, Mr. Jaworski,
Mata ah-oo hima deDomo arigato, Mr. Jaworski,
Himitsu wo shiri tai

You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin?
With parts made in Des Moines, I am the Samuel man!

The cutest thing the other day as I was driving my children to or fro. A song came on and Sam told me to look! I looked back and he had his cute little eyes BUGGED OUT of his head, his neck muscles straining and was "waxing on and waxing off" to the tune of the song. I started to laugh and asked what he was doing and he said "The Robot!" It was too funny!

I asked him where he had learned it and he said he didn't ... he just taught himself!

It was so cute...

The problem's plain to see: too much technology.
Machines to save our lives.
Machines dehumanize.
The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
So everyone can see
My true identity...I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!

Fa Kin Fu Nee!!!

Tong Uk's Philosophy

Well I love her
But I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake
And hell is all I catch

Today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin' hole today
She'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon

Well I'm gonna miss her...

When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her

Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

Now there's a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
But that water's right
And the weather's perfect
No tellin' what I might catch today

Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun

I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight

That I'm gonna miss her...
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

Yeah, I'm gonna miss her...
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite

I'm Gonna Miss Her, lyrics by Brad Paisley

PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY

Stolen from a forwarded email...can not take credit for this one:

• 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
• 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....
• 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
• 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
• 5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
• 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE T OLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
• 7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
• 8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
• 9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
• 10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
• 11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
• 12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
• 13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
• 14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
• 15 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
• 16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
• 17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
• 18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
• 19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THRO UGH BANK MACHINES?
• 20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
• 21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
• 22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
• 23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
• 24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
• 25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
• 26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
• 27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
• 28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE AN 'S' IN IT?
• 29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'?
• 30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
• 31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
• 32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
• 33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
• 34. Why do they call freight on a ship 'cargo', and freight on a motor vehicle a 'shipment'?

Procrastination

Procrastination, Procrastina ~ a ~tion is making me crazy.
It's making me cra~a~a~zy!!!
(Sang to the tune of a song that I just can't think of right now....)

Procrastination
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Look up Procrastination inWiktionary, the free dictionary.
Procrastination is a type of behavior which is characterized by deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite procrastination as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision. [1]
For an individual procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of personal productivity, the creation of crisis and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments. Incidentally these combined feelings can lead to further procrastination. While it is normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological or physiological disorder.

I've got it bad. So very, very bad.

I've got to get back to what I was supposed to be getting to before I started this thing that I really didn't finish....

Worth the 7 minutes....

This is so great. So worth the time. I love it! I know you will, too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHkOFlbvStw

This is also funny. Take the time...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hu9NyGh6PiE&feature=related

Now, I must go to bed!

Does it count that I did three blogs in one night?!

Couldn't Be More Proud...

I was ashamed of myself last night for going off on my kids for bickering with each other constantly and I was not a nice mommy before tucking them into bed last night. But, I must say that tonight I could not be prouder of them...and of me. I am getting a little teary-eyed as I type this.

Nothing monumental to report. Just had a great day with my great kids. I kept it all together and got it all together and we just did good. Everyone went to bed tonight happy and content. What a wonderful feeling! I know they will have sweet dreams tonight.

My oldest had his Spring Concert tonight. He got home from school to find me and the younger two playing on the trampoline. He helped himself to a snack and went down to play Wii in peace. Grandma came over around 5 as I was on the verge of losing it trying to get myself and the three of them looking decent for the night's festivities.

We were out the door by 5:30 looking swell. Had a lovely little dinner at the local pizza place. The kids ate so well and were just great! Got to the school with plenty of time to get a good seat and get the First Grader to his post.

The little ones stayed with Grandma while I walked him to his classroom and readied him for the big night. He said he wishes he was at home...I said we will be there when this is done and he will do great...HAVE FUN!

He walked in so handsomely. Presented himself on stage with a smile. He knew all the words and all the actions and performed them all with enthusiasm. He did his spoken lines wonderfully! Got back to his spot and finished out the night with a bang! The moment he spotted us in the crowd, I worried it would all be over and he would fill up with nerves again...but, a broad smile went across his face and I knew he would be fine as I gave him the "thumbs up".

He knew he was doing great and he was having a great time.

When it was all over and we went to retrieve him from his room. He said, "I am proud of myself!" I told him he should be!

I was so proud of myself, too! He is a great accomplishment of mine! I love that kid!

PS: We videotaped it all for my partner in crime who could not be here tonight to witness such smooth sailing, as he is working hard in a faraway land to keep our lives rolling along at a nice pace. We could not be prouder of him as well!

Fives....

Here, Patti. This one is for you. Thanks for the kick in the seat. By May 1, I will be finished with my other job and, therefore, set aside some more time for bloggin. I hope I can get half as good as you are....

5 things I was doing 5 years ago:

1. Nursing my 3 month old
2. Playing with my 2 1/2 year old
3. Preparing to move to the new house (the one that is now for sale that I will miss as dearly as the one that I left to move to this one....)
4. Trying to drop the baby weight
5. Honestly, loving life!

5 Things on my To-do list today (tomorrow):

1. Get kid ready for the bus
2. Take kids to pre-school
3. Get my bagel and DP
4. WORKOUT!!!
5. Clean this HOUSE!

5 snacks I enjoy:

1. Flamin' Hot Cheetos (So glad you enjoy them, Pyi)
2. Diet Pepsi
3. Pickle Wraps
4. Popcorn with Dorito Crumbs on it
5. Fresh out of the oven chocolate chip cookies

5 things I would do if I were a Billionairre

1. Save Darfur for goodness sakes!
2. Start and run my beloved "Play it Forward" (actually, I have intentions of doing this without being a billionairre)
3. Pay for my kids' college education
4. Pay off all our debts
5. Live the good life and pass it on....

5 of my bad habits

1. Procrastinating
2. Complaining
3. Talking on cell phone while driving
4. Eating junk food
5. Staying up late and not getting enough sleep

5 places I have lived

1. Greenfield
2. Ames
3. West Des Moines
4. Des Moines
5. Johnston

5 jobs I've had

1. Babysitter
2. Lifeguard
3. Factory Worker
4. Video Store/Tanning Clerk
5. Fundraiser
6. MOST IMPORTANT~MOMMY!

Are you happy now, PYi? I am.

Good 'Ole Boys...

This latest song by Brad Paisley, "I'm Still a Guy," just cracks me up. I just heard it today and had to find the lyrics to share with you all who refuse to listen to Country Music.

It is my husband, and most guys, in a nutshell. My favorite line is about the BACKRUBS.

Men really are all the same....

I'm Still a Guy, by Brad Paisley et al.

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnics
And I see a large mouth up under that log

You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up oh but no matter what
remember I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl

Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

I can hear you now talking to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From dragging his knuckles and carrying a club
And building a fire in a cave

But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, now what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

And I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by

These days there's dudes getting facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox

Yeah with all of these men lining up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair

Yeah honey, I'm still a guy
Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy

The American Dream...My How It Has Changed

I just received this from my brother-in-law and I thought ~ no time better than the present to update my blog...finally!

Two Different Versions... Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and playsthe summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to bethe ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008