It's been a loooong time...

Oh, how long it has been since I have been here and typing down my thoughts. I had a little convo earlier today with a friend from Iowa. She was praising me for my big move and having it all together and oh, how the purging was probably an awesome thing. And how she needed to do something, but it was all just too overwhelming. And she was just so proud of me....

I told her not to be.

I am a big baby!

I do not have things under control.

S-baby had a nightmare last night that the crocodiles were getting her. Again. She has had this dream before. Go ahead and analyze it for me if you can.

I like the new neighbors. I like the school. I like the town. But, I like Iowa better! That's all there is to it. A year from now, I may feel differently, but now that is how I feel today.

The kids are really not sleeping well. One or all of them awake at least once a night and one or two of them end up in our bed. I end up on the couch in our room or in one of there three beds ~ nearly every night lately, it seems. This is not good for me. I am already half psychotic...I don't need this sleep deprivation on top of that.

S-baby told me in her sleepy state last night, as we moved from the couch to J-man's bed at around 4 AM, that she was "scared of this house" and "can we just go back to our other house?". I bit my lip. Poor babies.

I told my husband this morning and said, "We really can't relate to what they are feeling as we both were in the same houses our whole childhood." My parents still have the same home. His mom just sold hers a few years ago...and it wasn't easy. So, there are some adjustments to be made for our little ones. Many people do it. We will get through it.

I have no goal on this post today. Just to post and to ramble.

But to feel some sense of accomplishment that...

"I am back!"

This was an email I just received from a friend and I BELIEVE it is worth sharing.

Birth Certificate shows that we were born,
A Death Certificate shows that we died,
Pictures show that we lived!

I Believe...
That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love..

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of seconds by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.

Mr. MCCain, you do have my RESPECT!

Just a little food for thought when you are considering who to vote for this coming November. The man is brave and he practices what he preaches!


http://www.snopes.com/politics/mccain/mccainsons.asp

Threes....

I am stealing this from PYi as I can not come up with anything original right now....

• 3 names you go by: Margaret, Mom, Mommy
• 3 physical things you like about yourself: My children (came from my body), My toenails, my ears
• 3 physical things you don't like about yourself: My ginormous legs, my muffin top, my cankles
• 3 things that scare you: Freaky Clowns, Things that go bump in the night, Something bad happening to my children/friends
• 3 everyday essentials: Diet Pepsi, Doritos, Chocolate
• 3 things you're wearing now: Gap Black T-shirt, Old Jeans, Old tennis shoes
• 3 favorite musical artists or groups: Kenny Chesney, Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts
• 3 favorite songs: Everything, Rascal Flatts; Live Like You Were Dying, Timmy; and American Girl by Carrie Underwood
• 2 truths and a lie: I think my kids are totally hilarious, I think I need to lose 10 pounds and get my butt into shape NOW and I look awesome!
• 3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you: Smell, Smile, Face
• 3 of your favorite hobbies: playing with my kids, playing with my friends, playing with my husband
• 3 things you want to do really badly right now: I would love to (in this order): lose 10 pounds magically, buy a totally cute outfit that I KNOW looks hot on me, and go out on the town!
• 3 things you want to do before you die: Watch my kids grow up, see them get married and see them with their children.
• 3 ways you are stereotypically a girl/boy: Love to shop, get my toenails done and eat chocolate
• 3 celebrity crushes: Duane Johnson is my newest, Tim McGraw and ... I can't think of anyone else right now.....

My Opinion...

http://www.abortionfacts.com/online_books/love_them_both/why_cant_we_love_them_both_29.asp

Pro-life people are diverse in economic status, race, religion, and education. Yet, they are unified by the concept that all humans, especially the innocent unborn, have an inherent right to life.
Here are things I believe as a Pro-Life person:
I believe that the unborn child is human. Click
I believe life begins at conception. Click
I believe that abortion is not safe. Click
I believe that abortion is a war on the unborn. Click
I believe that the Roe v. Wade decision, legalizing abortion on demand in America, was one of the most important and devastating Supreme Court decisions. Click
I believe that a constitutional amendment should be passed that gives equal protection to all living humans, including the unborn. Click
I believe that the violence inside and outside abortion clinics is morally wrong. Click
I believe that rape and incest are horrible crimes and should be punished, but I don't believe that a child conceived from either should be killed. Click
I do not believe that the government should fund abortions. Click
I do not believe that the government should fund Planned Parenthood - the largest national supplier of abortions. Click
Being a religious person, I believe that the Bible backs up my views on abortion. Click

That is all I wanted to say....

Meaning of Memorial Day

Let us not forget who it is that makes it possible for us to sleep at night and enjoy a friendly, neighborhood barbeque on Memorial Day.... Take a few moments this weekend to remember. Here is a good place to start.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbRGksthTHQ&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1_UgbcuA1uo
Arlington
Performed by Trace Adkins

I never thought that this is where I'd settle down,
I thought I'd die an old man back in my hometown,
They gave me this plot of land, me and some other men, for a job well done,
There's a big white house sits on a hill just up the road,
The man inside he cried the day they brought me home,
They folded up a flag and told my mom and dad, we're proud of your son

[Chorus:]
And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones, I made it to Arlington

I remember daddy brought me here when I was eight,
We searched all day to find out where my granddad lay,
And when we finally found that cross,
He said, "son this is what it cost to keep us free"
Now here I am,A thousand stones away from him,
He recognized me on the first day I came in,
And it gave me a chill when he clicked his heels, and saluted me.

[Chorus:]
And I'm proud to be on this peaceful piece of property,
I'm on sacred ground and I'm in the best of company,
I'm thankful for those thankful for the things I've done,
I can rest in peace, I'm one of the chosen ones, I made it to Arlington

And everytime I hear twenty-one guns,
I know they brought another hero home to us
We're thankful for those thankful for the things we've done,
We can rest in peace, 'cause we are the chosen ones,
We made it to arlington, yea dust to dust,
Don't cry for us, we made it to Arlington

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-o9aCoeGoI&feature=related
If You're Reading This
Performed by Tim McGraw

Which One Are You ~ Girl That Weighs the Same as ME?

Oh, I wish I had seen you on that scale to see what my weight looks like on someone else...maybe it would help to motivate me to move that number down!!!

Yes, today, it happened. The scale at the gym was set to my exact weight...which means that someone had just weighed themselves and stepped off right before I got to the dressing room. Did I pass her? Did I look at her and think she was fat? Did I look at her and think...she looks pretty good? Was she still in the gym? Was she still working out...hmmmm, which one is she. I really want to know. Do you think people would mind if I asked, "Hey, are you the one that weighed "such and such"? Would it be an insult to some...would it be a compliment to others? I looked around...I wondered. I never got my answer.

But, I must say, it was so nice to see!!! Someone else here weighs the same as me!!! Well, not to brag, but I did have to bump it down about 1/4 pound to really get it to balance correctly....

Anyway, let me tell you why I was so relieved. Because for the past several weeks, as I walk into the locker room, I always am sure to make note of the scale to see what weight is left on it, if any! And, I am sad to say that it is often left on a weight...a weight that I can never imagine obtaining for myself. The first time. Some emaciated, hungry woman had left it on 112!? "Who in the HELL in here weighs 112!? Show yourself beyotch!" I wanted to shout.

Another time it was on 126! Oh, how I would love to be 126 pounds again...when was that weight on my body last? I think I may have obtained that number my Freshman year in college. (Yeah, I actually lost weight that year.) Then I porked out my sophomore year while I worked food service. I think I may have gotten back to that weight again some time in my senior year, but never again. And, I venture to guess...NEVER AGAIN!!!

Another time the scale read 116 and I went ballistic (in my head) again! I just can not imagine being that skinny! As I forced myself to take step after step on the elliptical and tried so hard not to think about how, doing this, I will be able to eat some Flamin' Hots after without as much guilt...I looked around at the fit little figures that wandered the gym amongst me and, I thought, "her and, yeah, her...oh, yeah ~ that one looks hungry, too."

There they are...those gals under 130 pounds! They must live off of oatmeal, celery and whey protein shakes... They are NOT HAPPY!

But, damn! Am I? Well, yes, I am. I AM HAPPY DAMMIT!!! I just wish I was skinnier!!! Why is that such an obsession? I don't know...when I get to the bottom of this bag of chips...maybe I will find my answer.